Why am I always bored?!

Wake up. Shower. Breakfast. Work. Home. Computer. Sleep.

What a boring life. Waking up everyday in the morning, only to come home tired after work and nothing to do afterwards for the rest of the night. While I was thinking of what to do, I just ended up doing useless things in front of my computer, and before I knew it, the clock already shows half-past-twelve.

Man, I really envy those who has a boyfriend or a girlfriend. At least, if you have nothing to do, you have someone to call and someone to talk to. Simple questions such as "How was your day?", "What are you doing?" and "What are you thinking right now?" seems to be overused by many, but beauty lies in simplicity that just by hearing those question from someone you love seems to motivate you a lot, doesn't it? Well, I wouldn't know.

I am a person who enjoys doing stuff alone. Going to Orchard to have a nice walk, to go around the town to find good food, or to just take the bus to random places while listening to music. It's not like I don't enjoy people's company, but its just that I like to think a lot about my past, my present and my future so much, and being alone helps me to think about those stuff more clearly. But that does not mean that I don't like to hang out with friends. I mean, when I am around with friends, I often make jokes, laugh together and go to places to do many fun stuffs. Going to the movies, eating dinner together, sharing laughters by telling jokes; all these are certainly something I cannot live without. But hey, I don't know about you guys but don't you have days where you just want to be alone and think about stuff as long as you want without anyone disturbing you? For my case, I have those kind of days more than the number of days I would like to spend with my friends.

So far, I have no complaints for the past 20 years. I enjoyed whatever I did alone, and I was quite satisfied with the way I conducted my social life. It was always relaxing to take a comfortable stroll along a busy road, and I was always able to clear any stress that I had in my mind. I like to keep things in private, and by not letting it out, I used to feel a strange sense of achievement because I must have felt proud to be able to not depend on anyone for my feelings. But then, as I grew older, things started to change a little bit.

Have you ever found yourself wishing that there was someone there for you to talk about all the stuff that's in your mind? Have you ever longed for a person who you can talk about your day, your life and what goes on in your mind? Have you ever thought that it would be nice if there is someone that you can look forward to each day, every minute after you wake up and in every second of your life? Well, the "me" that used to think that I would be fine keeping things to myself, started to realise that life would be much better if I had someone special that I could talk to almost about anything I want to. I guess it's part of growing up, eh?

Human are not lonely being. Since the start of mankind, people surivived by staying together in a community, overcoming hardships as a group and celebrating joy and happiness as a big family. At least for my case, I started to understand the reason for the emptiness that I feel everytime I find myself with absolutely nothing to do at all. My heart that has been keeping everything inside is telling me that it is about time to find another heart to store all the things I have kept to myself into another place. I guess our heart is too small to handle all the problems that we encounter in our lives eh?

With that said, presently, I have not yet reached a stage where I am dying to have a girlfriend or anything. It's not like I am writing all this because I feel lonely, but more of a relfection of what is going through in my mind, and as long as I am able to keep my emotion in control, I have nothing to be worried about. But as the clock ticks and the days pass, I cannot say for sure if I could stay this way. Only time can tell I guess.

Till then, I will just have to continue living with this motto:

If yesterday was bad and today's worse, all I need to do is to make sure tomorrow will be a better day!