A crush on a Thursday night

It's the second day of my mid-term break, but somehow I can't get myself to relax.

Even though I have one week off from school, I would be flooded with examinations, projects, and lots of obligations to fulfill right after school resumes. Come this Thrusday, I would be having a make up class, a field trip and also Japanese lesson in the afternoon. On friday, I would have to attend meetings, as well as studying for two exams that's coming soon. Saturday will be filled with field trips and more studying, and come Sunday, I would still have to study to prepare for my exams. Argh, only if I had more time!

Went to Japanese class today, but before that, I went to eat at Yoshinoya at Bugis Junction. When I arrived, there was a long queue, probably because only one service counter was open. After having my chicken and beef set, I went to buy some yakitori from a store located just opposite to Yoshinoya, when I realised that it's only 6:30 pm. My Japanese lesson was not for about 1 more hour, so I decided to browse some book at Kinokuniya instead to kill time.

Japanese lesson today was quite okay. Learnt new sentense structure, some new words and also some new kanji as well. What was interesting about today, though, was what happened after Japanese class.

After class, me and my classmates went to meet up with a former classmate, who will be going to York to study. She used to sit behind me in Japanese class, and yes, it is the girl that I had a little crush on. She stopped coming to class about 2 months ago, so I was kind of excited to see her again. Eight of us sat down at McDonalds just to catch up on things with her and probably to say goodbye to her. Found out that she will be leaving this coming Thursday and she won't be back till December. Apparently, the reason she did not come to class was because she was teaching at a school as a relief teacher. Not bad eh for a 19 yr old?

I remembered that she said she won a scholarship, so that's one of the reason she is going abroad. If I am not wrong, she is from one of the top JC in Singapore, so having a scholarship means that she is darn smart. So curiously, I asked her: "So, what are you going to study there?" Her: "Politics, Economics and Psychology." Me: "*(holy ****) Oh? That's interesting." What the ef. Politics, Economics and Psychology? She's way out of my league man.

We continued chatting, and found out lots of things about her. I thought that she looked a bit slimmer that before, which is probably why I thought that she looked prettier today. She had this cute little smile on her face, and the way she like to bite her nails is somewhat appealing. The way she talked was a bit strange though. She always sounds so tired, and she does not have any energy when she talks. Not that it's bad, rather, I found it quite amusing and somewhat sexy. Haha. Strangely enough, I soon find myself even more attracted to her than 2 months ago.

One of my classmates offered me a ride back home, and before going to my house, we went to her house first to drop her off. When we reach her house, I was like holy cow. It was a big 2 storey house and there were 2 cars parked on her garage. Anyone who saw her house could tell that she was from a wealthy family. So right here, I did some reality check:

Her: Smart, Rich, Nice and Cute
Me: Stupid, Average, Weird and Ugly

... *slaps myself on the face, to stop myself from dreaming* Again, she is way out of my league man. However, as I made my way home, all that I could think about was her smile. I am well aware that this happens when you have a really huge crush on someone, and I think I am having just that. It's not like I am not happy to feel this way, but considering that she would be leaving in 2 days, this supposedly happy emotion is somewhat hurting me a little bit. Just a little bit.

When I finally got home, I was too tired to do anything else. Took a shower and chatted with some people on MSN. But now, I am feeling very uneasy inside, probably because I can't stop thinking about her. Well, I am sure I will be fine in a week or so, but in the meantime, I guess I'll just have to try to shift my attention somewhere else. I mean, it's no use to try so hard to forget, 'cause the more you try the more harder it will be. As silily as it might sound, I will just hope that time will heal and stop me from hoping for something that's not to be. I mean, once you know that you would never get that girl, what's more painful than to keep hoping for something that will never come true?