Long time no blog!
Seriously busy with projects and assignments, and it seems that it is getting harder for me to find some time to relax! I mean, I wake up each day, go to school, project meeting or class the whole day, comes home at 1 a.m., sleep, and next day starts and the cycle repeats. Three presentations and reports are due on Monday and Tuesday, and I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED ON SOME OF THEM! F***! I might just going to experience the worst few days in my university life very very soon. Sleepless nights are certainly on the horizon...
Got my JLPT (Japanese Language Proficiency Test) recently and I got 400 out of 400! Full mark! Yay? Well, it's only JLPT 4 so not that big of a deal, and I am probably going to do JLPT 3 next year so hope I can keep this up.
Well now that it's March and I can safely say that I managed to fail at every single new year resolution, it's time to make some new resolutions! ... which I probably break in a few months, so nevermind. Lol. Seriously, I need to work harder so that I would be someone useful when I graduate. If not, there is no chance that I would get a good job in this kind of market. No job -> no money -> no good food -> sad -> go doctor to treat depression -> lose money -> need find job -> no job -> ... darn future is bleak, really bleak...
Well, nothing else to update so I will just go to bed for now. Meeting and assignments again tomorrow! Yay! S***!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Sunday, January 4, 2009
An optimism to start a turbulent year
Happy New Year!
Another year passed, and I feel no different than what I was last year. Strangely, though, I have a feeling that this year would be a good one, despite all the chaos going on around the world.
Spent my Christmas at Surabaya and spent my new year at home with my cousins! We had shabu shabu (Japanese food where you dip meat on soup and eat it with soy sauce) and counting down to a new year, we toasted with a glass of wine while watching the fireworks from afar. Quite a relaxing new year it was, spent the rest of the night talking and playing computer games with my little cousin.
Come Monday, school starts again! A whole new term, new classes and hopefully new people that I can get to know. But honestly, the most important thing for any desperate, single, lonely, sad, depressed, tall, heavy, fat, likes to eat food, likes to eat hot dogs sometimes but not really, cannot eat noodle from nose, enjoys poking poo on floor, likes listening to music, cheerful guy like me is to be greeted with a new flock of sheep (girls) for my viewing pleasure. Sigh, I am becoming more hampsap as I grow older. Yay?
Well, since it's a new year, I'll just end off with some resolutions (that I will end up following none of them):
1. Lose weight and get to 75kg
2. Eat more
3. Do either 1 or 2
4. Eat noodle
5. Watch my spending
6. Make babies
7. Just joking
8. Do 6 and 7 together
9. Swim from Batam to Jakarta
10. Go to doctor to treat my mental illness
11. Do 10 if 9 happens
12. Get a girlfriend
13. Get a boyfried
14. Get a person with both private part
15. Do 13 if 12 fails, do 14 if 13 and 12 fails.
16. Tell parents sorry for being an unfilial son and leave home if 15 happens
17. Study hard
Well, I hope I can manage to fulfill my resolutions and I wish that this year would go by as well as possible.
Another year passed, and I feel no different than what I was last year. Strangely, though, I have a feeling that this year would be a good one, despite all the chaos going on around the world.
Spent my Christmas at Surabaya and spent my new year at home with my cousins! We had shabu shabu (Japanese food where you dip meat on soup and eat it with soy sauce) and counting down to a new year, we toasted with a glass of wine while watching the fireworks from afar. Quite a relaxing new year it was, spent the rest of the night talking and playing computer games with my little cousin.
Come Monday, school starts again! A whole new term, new classes and hopefully new people that I can get to know. But honestly, the most important thing for any desperate, single, lonely, sad, depressed, tall, heavy, fat, likes to eat food, likes to eat hot dogs sometimes but not really, cannot eat noodle from nose, enjoys poking poo on floor, likes listening to music, cheerful guy like me is to be greeted with a new flock of sheep (girls) for my viewing pleasure. Sigh, I am becoming more hampsap as I grow older. Yay?
Well, since it's a new year, I'll just end off with some resolutions (that I will end up following none of them):
1. Lose weight and get to 75kg
2. Eat more
3. Do either 1 or 2
4. Eat noodle
5. Watch my spending
6. Make babies
7. Just joking
8. Do 6 and 7 together
9. Swim from Batam to Jakarta
10. Go to doctor to treat my mental illness
11. Do 10 if 9 happens
12. Get a girlfriend
13. Get a boyfried
14. Get a person with both private part
15. Do 13 if 12 fails, do 14 if 13 and 12 fails.
16. Tell parents sorry for being an unfilial son and leave home if 15 happens
17. Study hard
Well, I hope I can manage to fulfill my resolutions and I wish that this year would go by as well as possible.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Life is shit. But not really shit.
What a tiring day!
Woke up at 8 am today because I had a class at 10 45 am. Got back my mid term Quiz and I was quite surprised to get 20/22. I mean, I did not study properly and guessed most of the answers! Yay! But then I did darn badly on my midterm for one of my Finance module so I guess I can't be too happy yet.
Had Japanese lesson as usual at 7 30 pm and today's lesson was somewhat easy going. I asked the teacher how to say corn and potato in Japanese and apparently the class found it funny. The teacher also explained about the final exam that we are going to have in November, after which I realised that I only have a few lesson left till the end of the course. I enjoyed attending this class and it's kind of sad that it's only gonna last a couple more weeks!
As I listened to my songs during the journey back to my home in the bus, I felt strangely relaxed today. I was sitting at the seat by the vertically positioned long chair located behind the driver, so I was able to stretch my leg and made myself comfortable. The bus was less than half empty, and the combination of the quiet surroundings with calming song helped me ease the tension I accumulated during the day.
I began to think about the things that I would have to do for the rest of the week, ranging from assignments, studying for mid term and also meetings that I have to attend. Realising that there's still a lot of stuff need to be done, I shifted my attention somewhere else just to make me think about something else. But then, soon enough, I would start to think about the readings I should read, the report I have to write and the exam I have to sit. I did not feel relaxed anymore and I became worried about the deadlines that I would soon have to meet. Readings after readings, meetings after meetings, and projects after projects. It seems like an endless cycle and honestly, I felt really really tired just thinking about these things. I just wished for December to come soon.
More often than not, we find ourselves feeling very tired from the things that we do everyday. I am not just talking about physically being tired, but also mentally being exhausted. I mean, besides school problems, we also face a lot of personal problems that we are worried about everyday.
Friendship, love, family, past, present and future. Each one of us has problems unique to ourselves, and the problem we face differes from a person to person. Sometimes, the problems can easily be overcome, but there are problems that you just can't seem to find a solution to it, no matter how hard you try to think of one.
"I wish he would be more sensitive to my feelings." "Why can't my parents understand how I feel?" "What am I gonna do once I graduate?" "What if I can't find a job?" "When am I going to forget about her and move on?" "What's the purpose of my existance?"
In reality, we are bombarded with lots of difficult life problems that are just too much to handle for our little brain in our head. Questions after questions, followed by uncertainty after uncertainty. Unable to find an answer, frustrated, we start to blame ourselves and gets into a state of depression. Although you know that there is no point thinking about it, you can't help it but to think about it. You cannot control the thoughts that goes through your mind, and suddenly, your emotions starts to get affected. You suddenly feel very tired of your life, and thus you lost motivation in things that you do everyday. You feel life's hurting, life's painful. Nothing just works right for you. Life's shit, what's the point of trying so hard anyway?
Some people handles this problems really well, able to think rationally on what to do to answer the many questions that they have in their minds. However, some people are just too overwhelmed and in the end, they feel helpless and frustrated, thinking that they are alone in this world, fighting against the cruel enemy called life, with absolutely no hope left in their future.
So far, I have been able to control my emotions very well. As I get older, my emotion does not fluctuate as much anymore, and life problems don't seem to be that impossible to solve anymore. I guess it has something to do with growing up, acquiring lots of life experience along the way and in the process, you learn how to handle your problems well. Thinking about the past 20 years, I realised that I have learnt a lot of things about family, love, friendship, relationship, school, society and the world. For some reason, thinking about how I changed as a person from who I was to who I am, I thought it was quite amazing. I mean, from a little boy who knew nothing about the world, I start to understand how the world works, and more importantly, how my emotions works. By knowing how your emotion works, what I mean is that you must know how to control your emotion well. Afterall, it is how you respond to the problem that determines how you will feel about the problem right? When you are positive, the problems seems managable and you are able to face it properly, but if you are negative, you will just avoid the problem, and in the end, problems after problem piles up and life just seems to be too painful to go through.
Yeah, I understand that it is easier said than done. I also understand that some problems can't be solved just by thinking positively. But hey, isn't it worse for you to keep thinking negatively? I mean, if just by thinking about it positively, a really shit day would just be a shit day. A hurtful experience would just be another bad day, and soon enough you realise that your life is not too bad after all. I mean, I am sure that even though your life is full of bad things happening around you, there are some good things that you can cherish, treasure and you look forward to each day, to give you the energy and hope that one day, you will find an answer to your problems. The last thing you want is to be a year older but three steps behind, and if all it takes is a different way of looking at a problem, why don't you just focus on the small positives rather than the big negatives? Just be strong and you will get there. And remember, you are not alone in your journey of life.
Finally, enjoy the new blog song I have put up. Hope it cheers up your day!
Woke up at 8 am today because I had a class at 10 45 am. Got back my mid term Quiz and I was quite surprised to get 20/22. I mean, I did not study properly and guessed most of the answers! Yay! But then I did darn badly on my midterm for one of my Finance module so I guess I can't be too happy yet.
Had Japanese lesson as usual at 7 30 pm and today's lesson was somewhat easy going. I asked the teacher how to say corn and potato in Japanese and apparently the class found it funny. The teacher also explained about the final exam that we are going to have in November, after which I realised that I only have a few lesson left till the end of the course. I enjoyed attending this class and it's kind of sad that it's only gonna last a couple more weeks!
As I listened to my songs during the journey back to my home in the bus, I felt strangely relaxed today. I was sitting at the seat by the vertically positioned long chair located behind the driver, so I was able to stretch my leg and made myself comfortable. The bus was less than half empty, and the combination of the quiet surroundings with calming song helped me ease the tension I accumulated during the day.
I began to think about the things that I would have to do for the rest of the week, ranging from assignments, studying for mid term and also meetings that I have to attend. Realising that there's still a lot of stuff need to be done, I shifted my attention somewhere else just to make me think about something else. But then, soon enough, I would start to think about the readings I should read, the report I have to write and the exam I have to sit. I did not feel relaxed anymore and I became worried about the deadlines that I would soon have to meet. Readings after readings, meetings after meetings, and projects after projects. It seems like an endless cycle and honestly, I felt really really tired just thinking about these things. I just wished for December to come soon.
More often than not, we find ourselves feeling very tired from the things that we do everyday. I am not just talking about physically being tired, but also mentally being exhausted. I mean, besides school problems, we also face a lot of personal problems that we are worried about everyday.
Friendship, love, family, past, present and future. Each one of us has problems unique to ourselves, and the problem we face differes from a person to person. Sometimes, the problems can easily be overcome, but there are problems that you just can't seem to find a solution to it, no matter how hard you try to think of one.
"I wish he would be more sensitive to my feelings." "Why can't my parents understand how I feel?" "What am I gonna do once I graduate?" "What if I can't find a job?" "When am I going to forget about her and move on?" "What's the purpose of my existance?"
In reality, we are bombarded with lots of difficult life problems that are just too much to handle for our little brain in our head. Questions after questions, followed by uncertainty after uncertainty. Unable to find an answer, frustrated, we start to blame ourselves and gets into a state of depression. Although you know that there is no point thinking about it, you can't help it but to think about it. You cannot control the thoughts that goes through your mind, and suddenly, your emotions starts to get affected. You suddenly feel very tired of your life, and thus you lost motivation in things that you do everyday. You feel life's hurting, life's painful. Nothing just works right for you. Life's shit, what's the point of trying so hard anyway?
Some people handles this problems really well, able to think rationally on what to do to answer the many questions that they have in their minds. However, some people are just too overwhelmed and in the end, they feel helpless and frustrated, thinking that they are alone in this world, fighting against the cruel enemy called life, with absolutely no hope left in their future.
So far, I have been able to control my emotions very well. As I get older, my emotion does not fluctuate as much anymore, and life problems don't seem to be that impossible to solve anymore. I guess it has something to do with growing up, acquiring lots of life experience along the way and in the process, you learn how to handle your problems well. Thinking about the past 20 years, I realised that I have learnt a lot of things about family, love, friendship, relationship, school, society and the world. For some reason, thinking about how I changed as a person from who I was to who I am, I thought it was quite amazing. I mean, from a little boy who knew nothing about the world, I start to understand how the world works, and more importantly, how my emotions works. By knowing how your emotion works, what I mean is that you must know how to control your emotion well. Afterall, it is how you respond to the problem that determines how you will feel about the problem right? When you are positive, the problems seems managable and you are able to face it properly, but if you are negative, you will just avoid the problem, and in the end, problems after problem piles up and life just seems to be too painful to go through.
Yeah, I understand that it is easier said than done. I also understand that some problems can't be solved just by thinking positively. But hey, isn't it worse for you to keep thinking negatively? I mean, if just by thinking about it positively, a really shit day would just be a shit day. A hurtful experience would just be another bad day, and soon enough you realise that your life is not too bad after all. I mean, I am sure that even though your life is full of bad things happening around you, there are some good things that you can cherish, treasure and you look forward to each day, to give you the energy and hope that one day, you will find an answer to your problems. The last thing you want is to be a year older but three steps behind, and if all it takes is a different way of looking at a problem, why don't you just focus on the small positives rather than the big negatives? Just be strong and you will get there. And remember, you are not alone in your journey of life.
Finally, enjoy the new blog song I have put up. Hope it cheers up your day!
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Can I have an allowance please?
I believe that we learn something new every day, from a small and trivial things to something that's potentially life changing.
Something hit me hard last week.
I was checking my school email as usual, when I realised that my friend has included me in a mailing list, in which he asked whether we wanted to eat at No Signboard Seafood Restaurant located at Esplanade. Didn't really want to go so I never replied his email, but it turned out that on the day of the dinner, he smsed me saying that he has booked a place for me. Oh well, I thought, so I decided to tag along.
Met them at school first and we made our way through CityLink mall and towards Esplanade. I had no idea what kind of restaurant this is, but according to my friend, its quite a fancy and a little bit expensive. Since we weren't celebrating anything, when I heard that it was a little bit expensive, I felt quite hesitant. I mean, why waste money on some dinner on a regular dinner gathering? Though, after being assured that it would not be that costly, I just kept my reluctance to myself.
As we were approaching our destination, I saw a bright light from afar. That bright light turned out to be our restaurant and boy, wasn't it fancy. It was during dining hour and the place was filled with many people, mostly working age adults who seemed to be having a corporate dinner with their colleagues. On another table, a family is celebrating their grand father's birthday. Just nearby, a couple is having a nice dinner together, probably to celebrate their anniversary. They have certainly chose a great place to commemorate their happy occasions, because this place is one of those high end Chinese restaurant where the waiter keeps bringing dishes after dishes every few minutes, just like what you normally have at wedding banquets.
Some people just simply does not have a common sense.
Of course, my initial thought was, "What the ef. Little bit expensive my foot." and my worries were confirmed when I looked at the price in the menu. Five Hundred and Eighty Nine Dollars. $589. Five eight nine for 10 dishes which includes shark fin, crabs, and many delicious dishes. There were 8 of us so if we split the bill, each of us would be paying around $74 before tax.
Are they out of their minds?
Sadly, too late to escape as we have settled down, so I had no choice but to participate in this hedonistic, ridiculously expensive and absolutely unnecessary dinner. The food was delicious, as expected, and we paid $85 each and left the place.
Some people just don't understand the value of money at all. For some, a dollar is just a dollar, ten dollars is just ten dollars, and a hundred dollars is just a hundred dollars. "What's the big deal?", they say. "When else can you have the chance to eat good food like this?" "Come on, it's just once in a while!". "For the quality we had, it's worth the money!"
Yeah sure, the food was very nice and definitely, it was money well spent. True, I had not eaten good food in a long time and it was indeed once in a while. Surely, the $85 I spent can be justified?
Wrong. They are so wrong that they are forgetting something.
You see, I don't really mind spending money from time to time. Afterall, I am a food lover and I would like to eat all the good food around the world some day. The Japanese food I enjoy so much costs quite a sum if I were to eat a good one here. But hey, listen, you must remember one thing;
Where do you think the money come from?
I am lucky to have parents who give me allowances at the beginning of each month. With this money, I get to go out with friends, eat food that I like, go to places I like, and buy things that I want to buy from time to time. It's a sum of money that's quite important for my life as a young adult, a sum of money that I can use to give myself enjoyment and relaxation. However, you must remember that this money didn't grow from the trees. Nor did it magically appear and your parents happend to picked it up.
The allowance you get from your parents are their sweat, hardship and trouble that they go through each day when they wake up early in the morning and come home late from the office. Your allowance comes from their wages, after enduring a hard day at work, for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, and 30 days a month.
Ask yourself now.
Who pays for the clothes you wear everyday? Who pays for the hairstyles that you have on your head? Who pays for that McDonald's take away you call whenever you feel hungry? Who pays for the fun outings you have with your friends? Who pays for the water you drink, the tv you watch, the computer you use, the bed you sleep on, and the house you live in? Who pays for your school fee, your medical fee, bus fare, breakfast, lunch, dinner, newspaper and everything else that you call yourself "mine"?
Respect your parents. I mean seriously, give them the respect they deserve. Just imagine how much they have spent on you ever since you are born. Just think about how much of their hard earned money have been spent on raising you? If they never had you, trust me, they would be far better off than now. They have given us so much, yet they still gives us allowances at the beginning of each month, for us to spend on more things that we want.
Let me make myself clear. Allowance is not a right, but a privilege. You don't have a "right" to get allowance from your parents. It is not a duty of parents to give their child pocket money. It is their generosity in sharing what they earn so painstakingly, as a token of their love for their children. It is a money you do not deserve, yet we often forget that fact and take it for granted. I mean, how can we spend our money irresponsibly when our parents are trying so hard to save up for our future? How can we enjoy a lifestyle, that even our parents do not get the chance to enjoy? Is this fair?
Look, I am not saying that you all should stop spending your money. Nor I am saying that you should stop eating nice food, or ordering take aways. I mean, these are important things that's part of growing up. All I am asking is to always remember where your money came from, and most importantly, learn to value your money. By value your money, I do not mean to say that a dollar is a dollar and a hundred dollars is a hundred dollars. By value your money, I mean to say that you must always be thankful of your parent's hardwork and generosity, to respect them for the hardship they are going through each day to put that 10 dollar note in your wallet. Honestly, that dinner was a wake up call for me. It is just not fair for me to spend irresponsibly and enjoying life, while my parents are working hard in the office.
I really regret what I have done in the past, from spending a lot of money on games, excessive eating, and other things that the money is not deserved to be spent on. Well, money spent is money gone, and no one can change that fact, so the best way forward is to change how I am spending my money. Afterall, if you finally realise your mistake from looking at your past, somewhat, the money in the past was well spent, wasn't it?
Once you earn your own wages through your own hardwork, you are free to use the money however you want to use it. You are free to eat food you want to eat, buy clothes you want to wear and buy a car you want to ride. You deserve it. But remember to give some back to your parents too, afterall, they chose you over great food, fancy clothes and nice car. Let's work hard to find a good job, and one day, we can give back what our parents deserve.
Something hit me hard last week.
I was checking my school email as usual, when I realised that my friend has included me in a mailing list, in which he asked whether we wanted to eat at No Signboard Seafood Restaurant located at Esplanade. Didn't really want to go so I never replied his email, but it turned out that on the day of the dinner, he smsed me saying that he has booked a place for me. Oh well, I thought, so I decided to tag along.
Met them at school first and we made our way through CityLink mall and towards Esplanade. I had no idea what kind of restaurant this is, but according to my friend, its quite a fancy and a little bit expensive. Since we weren't celebrating anything, when I heard that it was a little bit expensive, I felt quite hesitant. I mean, why waste money on some dinner on a regular dinner gathering? Though, after being assured that it would not be that costly, I just kept my reluctance to myself.
As we were approaching our destination, I saw a bright light from afar. That bright light turned out to be our restaurant and boy, wasn't it fancy. It was during dining hour and the place was filled with many people, mostly working age adults who seemed to be having a corporate dinner with their colleagues. On another table, a family is celebrating their grand father's birthday. Just nearby, a couple is having a nice dinner together, probably to celebrate their anniversary. They have certainly chose a great place to commemorate their happy occasions, because this place is one of those high end Chinese restaurant where the waiter keeps bringing dishes after dishes every few minutes, just like what you normally have at wedding banquets.
Some people just simply does not have a common sense.
Of course, my initial thought was, "What the ef. Little bit expensive my foot." and my worries were confirmed when I looked at the price in the menu. Five Hundred and Eighty Nine Dollars. $589. Five eight nine for 10 dishes which includes shark fin, crabs, and many delicious dishes. There were 8 of us so if we split the bill, each of us would be paying around $74 before tax.
Are they out of their minds?
Sadly, too late to escape as we have settled down, so I had no choice but to participate in this hedonistic, ridiculously expensive and absolutely unnecessary dinner. The food was delicious, as expected, and we paid $85 each and left the place.
Some people just don't understand the value of money at all. For some, a dollar is just a dollar, ten dollars is just ten dollars, and a hundred dollars is just a hundred dollars. "What's the big deal?", they say. "When else can you have the chance to eat good food like this?" "Come on, it's just once in a while!". "For the quality we had, it's worth the money!"
Yeah sure, the food was very nice and definitely, it was money well spent. True, I had not eaten good food in a long time and it was indeed once in a while. Surely, the $85 I spent can be justified?
Wrong. They are so wrong that they are forgetting something.
You see, I don't really mind spending money from time to time. Afterall, I am a food lover and I would like to eat all the good food around the world some day. The Japanese food I enjoy so much costs quite a sum if I were to eat a good one here. But hey, listen, you must remember one thing;
Where do you think the money come from?
I am lucky to have parents who give me allowances at the beginning of each month. With this money, I get to go out with friends, eat food that I like, go to places I like, and buy things that I want to buy from time to time. It's a sum of money that's quite important for my life as a young adult, a sum of money that I can use to give myself enjoyment and relaxation. However, you must remember that this money didn't grow from the trees. Nor did it magically appear and your parents happend to picked it up.
The allowance you get from your parents are their sweat, hardship and trouble that they go through each day when they wake up early in the morning and come home late from the office. Your allowance comes from their wages, after enduring a hard day at work, for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, and 30 days a month.
Ask yourself now.
Who pays for the clothes you wear everyday? Who pays for the hairstyles that you have on your head? Who pays for that McDonald's take away you call whenever you feel hungry? Who pays for the fun outings you have with your friends? Who pays for the water you drink, the tv you watch, the computer you use, the bed you sleep on, and the house you live in? Who pays for your school fee, your medical fee, bus fare, breakfast, lunch, dinner, newspaper and everything else that you call yourself "mine"?
Respect your parents. I mean seriously, give them the respect they deserve. Just imagine how much they have spent on you ever since you are born. Just think about how much of their hard earned money have been spent on raising you? If they never had you, trust me, they would be far better off than now. They have given us so much, yet they still gives us allowances at the beginning of each month, for us to spend on more things that we want.
Let me make myself clear. Allowance is not a right, but a privilege. You don't have a "right" to get allowance from your parents. It is not a duty of parents to give their child pocket money. It is their generosity in sharing what they earn so painstakingly, as a token of their love for their children. It is a money you do not deserve, yet we often forget that fact and take it for granted. I mean, how can we spend our money irresponsibly when our parents are trying so hard to save up for our future? How can we enjoy a lifestyle, that even our parents do not get the chance to enjoy? Is this fair?
Look, I am not saying that you all should stop spending your money. Nor I am saying that you should stop eating nice food, or ordering take aways. I mean, these are important things that's part of growing up. All I am asking is to always remember where your money came from, and most importantly, learn to value your money. By value your money, I do not mean to say that a dollar is a dollar and a hundred dollars is a hundred dollars. By value your money, I mean to say that you must always be thankful of your parent's hardwork and generosity, to respect them for the hardship they are going through each day to put that 10 dollar note in your wallet. Honestly, that dinner was a wake up call for me. It is just not fair for me to spend irresponsibly and enjoying life, while my parents are working hard in the office.
I really regret what I have done in the past, from spending a lot of money on games, excessive eating, and other things that the money is not deserved to be spent on. Well, money spent is money gone, and no one can change that fact, so the best way forward is to change how I am spending my money. Afterall, if you finally realise your mistake from looking at your past, somewhat, the money in the past was well spent, wasn't it?
Once you earn your own wages through your own hardwork, you are free to use the money however you want to use it. You are free to eat food you want to eat, buy clothes you want to wear and buy a car you want to ride. You deserve it. But remember to give some back to your parents too, afterall, they chose you over great food, fancy clothes and nice car. Let's work hard to find a good job, and one day, we can give back what our parents deserve.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
A crush on a Thursday night
It's the second day of my mid-term break, but somehow I can't get myself to relax.
Even though I have one week off from school, I would be flooded with examinations, projects, and lots of obligations to fulfill right after school resumes. Come this Thrusday, I would be having a make up class, a field trip and also Japanese lesson in the afternoon. On friday, I would have to attend meetings, as well as studying for two exams that's coming soon. Saturday will be filled with field trips and more studying, and come Sunday, I would still have to study to prepare for my exams. Argh, only if I had more time!
Went to Japanese class today, but before that, I went to eat at Yoshinoya at Bugis Junction. When I arrived, there was a long queue, probably because only one service counter was open. After having my chicken and beef set, I went to buy some yakitori from a store located just opposite to Yoshinoya, when I realised that it's only 6:30 pm. My Japanese lesson was not for about 1 more hour, so I decided to browse some book at Kinokuniya instead to kill time.
Japanese lesson today was quite okay. Learnt new sentense structure, some new words and also some new kanji as well. What was interesting about today, though, was what happened after Japanese class.
After class, me and my classmates went to meet up with a former classmate, who will be going to York to study. She used to sit behind me in Japanese class, and yes, it is the girl that I had a little crush on. She stopped coming to class about 2 months ago, so I was kind of excited to see her again. Eight of us sat down at McDonalds just to catch up on things with her and probably to say goodbye to her. Found out that she will be leaving this coming Thursday and she won't be back till December. Apparently, the reason she did not come to class was because she was teaching at a school as a relief teacher. Not bad eh for a 19 yr old?
I remembered that she said she won a scholarship, so that's one of the reason she is going abroad. If I am not wrong, she is from one of the top JC in Singapore, so having a scholarship means that she is darn smart. So curiously, I asked her: "So, what are you going to study there?" Her: "Politics, Economics and Psychology." Me: "*(holy ****) Oh? That's interesting." What the ef. Politics, Economics and Psychology? She's way out of my league man.
We continued chatting, and found out lots of things about her. I thought that she looked a bit slimmer that before, which is probably why I thought that she looked prettier today. She had this cute little smile on her face, and the way she like to bite her nails is somewhat appealing. The way she talked was a bit strange though. She always sounds so tired, and she does not have any energy when she talks. Not that it's bad, rather, I found it quite amusing and somewhat sexy. Haha. Strangely enough, I soon find myself even more attracted to her than 2 months ago.
One of my classmates offered me a ride back home, and before going to my house, we went to her house first to drop her off. When we reach her house, I was like holy cow. It was a big 2 storey house and there were 2 cars parked on her garage. Anyone who saw her house could tell that she was from a wealthy family. So right here, I did some reality check:
Her: Smart, Rich, Nice and Cute
Me: Stupid, Average, Weird and Ugly
... *slaps myself on the face, to stop myself from dreaming* Again, she is way out of my league man. However, as I made my way home, all that I could think about was her smile. I am well aware that this happens when you have a really huge crush on someone, and I think I am having just that. It's not like I am not happy to feel this way, but considering that she would be leaving in 2 days, this supposedly happy emotion is somewhat hurting me a little bit. Just a little bit.
When I finally got home, I was too tired to do anything else. Took a shower and chatted with some people on MSN. But now, I am feeling very uneasy inside, probably because I can't stop thinking about her. Well, I am sure I will be fine in a week or so, but in the meantime, I guess I'll just have to try to shift my attention somewhere else. I mean, it's no use to try so hard to forget, 'cause the more you try the more harder it will be. As silily as it might sound, I will just hope that time will heal and stop me from hoping for something that's not to be. I mean, once you know that you would never get that girl, what's more painful than to keep hoping for something that will never come true?
Even though I have one week off from school, I would be flooded with examinations, projects, and lots of obligations to fulfill right after school resumes. Come this Thrusday, I would be having a make up class, a field trip and also Japanese lesson in the afternoon. On friday, I would have to attend meetings, as well as studying for two exams that's coming soon. Saturday will be filled with field trips and more studying, and come Sunday, I would still have to study to prepare for my exams. Argh, only if I had more time!
Went to Japanese class today, but before that, I went to eat at Yoshinoya at Bugis Junction. When I arrived, there was a long queue, probably because only one service counter was open. After having my chicken and beef set, I went to buy some yakitori from a store located just opposite to Yoshinoya, when I realised that it's only 6:30 pm. My Japanese lesson was not for about 1 more hour, so I decided to browse some book at Kinokuniya instead to kill time.
Japanese lesson today was quite okay. Learnt new sentense structure, some new words and also some new kanji as well. What was interesting about today, though, was what happened after Japanese class.
After class, me and my classmates went to meet up with a former classmate, who will be going to York to study. She used to sit behind me in Japanese class, and yes, it is the girl that I had a little crush on. She stopped coming to class about 2 months ago, so I was kind of excited to see her again. Eight of us sat down at McDonalds just to catch up on things with her and probably to say goodbye to her. Found out that she will be leaving this coming Thursday and she won't be back till December. Apparently, the reason she did not come to class was because she was teaching at a school as a relief teacher. Not bad eh for a 19 yr old?
I remembered that she said she won a scholarship, so that's one of the reason she is going abroad. If I am not wrong, she is from one of the top JC in Singapore, so having a scholarship means that she is darn smart. So curiously, I asked her: "So, what are you going to study there?" Her: "Politics, Economics and Psychology." Me: "*(holy ****) Oh? That's interesting." What the ef. Politics, Economics and Psychology? She's way out of my league man.
We continued chatting, and found out lots of things about her. I thought that she looked a bit slimmer that before, which is probably why I thought that she looked prettier today. She had this cute little smile on her face, and the way she like to bite her nails is somewhat appealing. The way she talked was a bit strange though. She always sounds so tired, and she does not have any energy when she talks. Not that it's bad, rather, I found it quite amusing and somewhat sexy. Haha. Strangely enough, I soon find myself even more attracted to her than 2 months ago.
One of my classmates offered me a ride back home, and before going to my house, we went to her house first to drop her off. When we reach her house, I was like holy cow. It was a big 2 storey house and there were 2 cars parked on her garage. Anyone who saw her house could tell that she was from a wealthy family. So right here, I did some reality check:
Her: Smart, Rich, Nice and Cute
Me: Stupid, Average, Weird and Ugly
... *slaps myself on the face, to stop myself from dreaming* Again, she is way out of my league man. However, as I made my way home, all that I could think about was her smile. I am well aware that this happens when you have a really huge crush on someone, and I think I am having just that. It's not like I am not happy to feel this way, but considering that she would be leaving in 2 days, this supposedly happy emotion is somewhat hurting me a little bit. Just a little bit.
When I finally got home, I was too tired to do anything else. Took a shower and chatted with some people on MSN. But now, I am feeling very uneasy inside, probably because I can't stop thinking about her. Well, I am sure I will be fine in a week or so, but in the meantime, I guess I'll just have to try to shift my attention somewhere else. I mean, it's no use to try so hard to forget, 'cause the more you try the more harder it will be. As silily as it might sound, I will just hope that time will heal and stop me from hoping for something that's not to be. I mean, once you know that you would never get that girl, what's more painful than to keep hoping for something that will never come true?
Monday, July 21, 2008
Why am I always bored?!
Wake up. Shower. Breakfast. Work. Home. Computer. Sleep.
What a boring life. Waking up everyday in the morning, only to come home tired after work and nothing to do afterwards for the rest of the night. While I was thinking of what to do, I just ended up doing useless things in front of my computer, and before I knew it, the clock already shows half-past-twelve.
Man, I really envy those who has a boyfriend or a girlfriend. At least, if you have nothing to do, you have someone to call and someone to talk to. Simple questions such as "How was your day?", "What are you doing?" and "What are you thinking right now?" seems to be overused by many, but beauty lies in simplicity that just by hearing those question from someone you love seems to motivate you a lot, doesn't it? Well, I wouldn't know.
I am a person who enjoys doing stuff alone. Going to Orchard to have a nice walk, to go around the town to find good food, or to just take the bus to random places while listening to music. It's not like I don't enjoy people's company, but its just that I like to think a lot about my past, my present and my future so much, and being alone helps me to think about those stuff more clearly. But that does not mean that I don't like to hang out with friends. I mean, when I am around with friends, I often make jokes, laugh together and go to places to do many fun stuffs. Going to the movies, eating dinner together, sharing laughters by telling jokes; all these are certainly something I cannot live without. But hey, I don't know about you guys but don't you have days where you just want to be alone and think about stuff as long as you want without anyone disturbing you? For my case, I have those kind of days more than the number of days I would like to spend with my friends.
So far, I have no complaints for the past 20 years. I enjoyed whatever I did alone, and I was quite satisfied with the way I conducted my social life. It was always relaxing to take a comfortable stroll along a busy road, and I was always able to clear any stress that I had in my mind. I like to keep things in private, and by not letting it out, I used to feel a strange sense of achievement because I must have felt proud to be able to not depend on anyone for my feelings. But then, as I grew older, things started to change a little bit.
Have you ever found yourself wishing that there was someone there for you to talk about all the stuff that's in your mind? Have you ever longed for a person who you can talk about your day, your life and what goes on in your mind? Have you ever thought that it would be nice if there is someone that you can look forward to each day, every minute after you wake up and in every second of your life? Well, the "me" that used to think that I would be fine keeping things to myself, started to realise that life would be much better if I had someone special that I could talk to almost about anything I want to. I guess it's part of growing up, eh?
Human are not lonely being. Since the start of mankind, people surivived by staying together in a community, overcoming hardships as a group and celebrating joy and happiness as a big family. At least for my case, I started to understand the reason for the emptiness that I feel everytime I find myself with absolutely nothing to do at all. My heart that has been keeping everything inside is telling me that it is about time to find another heart to store all the things I have kept to myself into another place. I guess our heart is too small to handle all the problems that we encounter in our lives eh?
With that said, presently, I have not yet reached a stage where I am dying to have a girlfriend or anything. It's not like I am writing all this because I feel lonely, but more of a relfection of what is going through in my mind, and as long as I am able to keep my emotion in control, I have nothing to be worried about. But as the clock ticks and the days pass, I cannot say for sure if I could stay this way. Only time can tell I guess.
Till then, I will just have to continue living with this motto:
If yesterday was bad and today's worse, all I need to do is to make sure tomorrow will be a better day!
What a boring life. Waking up everyday in the morning, only to come home tired after work and nothing to do afterwards for the rest of the night. While I was thinking of what to do, I just ended up doing useless things in front of my computer, and before I knew it, the clock already shows half-past-twelve.
Man, I really envy those who has a boyfriend or a girlfriend. At least, if you have nothing to do, you have someone to call and someone to talk to. Simple questions such as "How was your day?", "What are you doing?" and "What are you thinking right now?" seems to be overused by many, but beauty lies in simplicity that just by hearing those question from someone you love seems to motivate you a lot, doesn't it? Well, I wouldn't know.
I am a person who enjoys doing stuff alone. Going to Orchard to have a nice walk, to go around the town to find good food, or to just take the bus to random places while listening to music. It's not like I don't enjoy people's company, but its just that I like to think a lot about my past, my present and my future so much, and being alone helps me to think about those stuff more clearly. But that does not mean that I don't like to hang out with friends. I mean, when I am around with friends, I often make jokes, laugh together and go to places to do many fun stuffs. Going to the movies, eating dinner together, sharing laughters by telling jokes; all these are certainly something I cannot live without. But hey, I don't know about you guys but don't you have days where you just want to be alone and think about stuff as long as you want without anyone disturbing you? For my case, I have those kind of days more than the number of days I would like to spend with my friends.
So far, I have no complaints for the past 20 years. I enjoyed whatever I did alone, and I was quite satisfied with the way I conducted my social life. It was always relaxing to take a comfortable stroll along a busy road, and I was always able to clear any stress that I had in my mind. I like to keep things in private, and by not letting it out, I used to feel a strange sense of achievement because I must have felt proud to be able to not depend on anyone for my feelings. But then, as I grew older, things started to change a little bit.
Have you ever found yourself wishing that there was someone there for you to talk about all the stuff that's in your mind? Have you ever longed for a person who you can talk about your day, your life and what goes on in your mind? Have you ever thought that it would be nice if there is someone that you can look forward to each day, every minute after you wake up and in every second of your life? Well, the "me" that used to think that I would be fine keeping things to myself, started to realise that life would be much better if I had someone special that I could talk to almost about anything I want to. I guess it's part of growing up, eh?
Human are not lonely being. Since the start of mankind, people surivived by staying together in a community, overcoming hardships as a group and celebrating joy and happiness as a big family. At least for my case, I started to understand the reason for the emptiness that I feel everytime I find myself with absolutely nothing to do at all. My heart that has been keeping everything inside is telling me that it is about time to find another heart to store all the things I have kept to myself into another place. I guess our heart is too small to handle all the problems that we encounter in our lives eh?
With that said, presently, I have not yet reached a stage where I am dying to have a girlfriend or anything. It's not like I am writing all this because I feel lonely, but more of a relfection of what is going through in my mind, and as long as I am able to keep my emotion in control, I have nothing to be worried about. But as the clock ticks and the days pass, I cannot say for sure if I could stay this way. Only time can tell I guess.
Till then, I will just have to continue living with this motto:
If yesterday was bad and today's worse, all I need to do is to make sure tomorrow will be a better day!
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Time
Have you ever thought about what your life will be like, say 10 years from now?
I often wonder what kind of person I would be like 10 years down the road. On my way home from Clarke Quay on a bus while listening to my music, this question just popped out out of no where on my head, and to be honest, it caught me by a bit of a surprise.
Ten years... that seems a very long time in the future. I don't even know what my life is going to be like a year for now, not to mention ten years!
One of the first thing that I asked myself was whether I would be the same kind of person I am now. Looking back 10 years ago, to who I was as a 10 year old, I could clearly see the difference between me from back then and the me of now. Certainly, as compared to a 10 year old, I was far more matured, more outspoken, more intelligent, and far more independent. Then, I thought to myself, if 10 years can change a kid into an adult, how will the next ten year in my life change who I am currently?
One question followed after another: Where would I be? What kind of job would I have? Who would I be with? Where would my parents be? How much would I earn? What kind of person would I be?
Maybe I would live in a nice house. I would be earning enough money to live comfortably. I would spend my days working as something that I like, and spend my well deserved holiday travelling all over the world. I would have the woman of my dreams as my wife, and we would have kids in a great environment and a nice neighborhood. I would have all the...
and then, reality starts to sink in.
What if I don't live in a nice house? What if I don't earn enough money to live comfortably? What if I spend my days doing something I don't like, and spend my holiday looking for extra jobs because I don't earn enough? What if I never meet anyone in my life and I would die as a lonely old man?
True, 10 years is very far to the future, but after spending the spare time I had while sitting in the bus, I have soon realised that "time" is not something to be taken lightly of. We often hear people saying it, and we ourselves often say it to others, yet we never take it seriously.
If there was one saying that all of you guys must make sure that it sinks in your mind is that "Time waits for no one."
One year from now, you will never know what is going to happen to you. One year from now, there may be some unexpected events that will change your life forever. One year from now, you may or may not be the kind of person you are now. One year from now, the only certainty in the uncertain is that things will not be the same.
The kind of person you will be 10 years from now will be determined by the kind of person you choose to be for the next 10 years to come. In other words, whether you will be poor, you will be rich, you will be happy, you will be sad, you will live in a mansion, you will live under the bridge; no one but you have to choose your own path in life.
How many times have you found yourself thinking, "Only if I have done this last time.", "Only if I have asked her out that time.", "Only if I have studied more properly." or "Only if I had more determination in doing things." If you have said too much Only Ifs in your life, now would be a good time to start changing what you are doing, before you find yourself 10 years older but 10 steps behind. Would you rather spend your adulthood telling people your great achievements, or would you rather spend your days crying in despair because your life has been nothing but full of only-ifs and self-inflicted failures?
Grab the chance when it comes, never give up till its gone. Life is always a two-way split road and destiny changes with each path that you choose. Yes or No. I will do it or I won't do it. I can or I can't. It's all in your hands. If you keep avoiding what you know it's right, and keep choosing the wrong path knowing that you are doing something wrong, I would not even bother to imagine what you would be like 10 years from now.
Here. Now. At this moment, nothing is too late yet. Your future has not happened yet. Nothing has been determined yet. You are still who you are. You are ver much uncertain of your future, and this is exactly why you must be happy, because you still have the power to change what's to come. That is why, I have decided that I would now shape my own future and do my best to overcome anything that acts to bring me down.
Will I succeed?
I guess, I'll just have to wait 10 more years and read this post once again.
I often wonder what kind of person I would be like 10 years down the road. On my way home from Clarke Quay on a bus while listening to my music, this question just popped out out of no where on my head, and to be honest, it caught me by a bit of a surprise.
Ten years... that seems a very long time in the future. I don't even know what my life is going to be like a year for now, not to mention ten years!
One of the first thing that I asked myself was whether I would be the same kind of person I am now. Looking back 10 years ago, to who I was as a 10 year old, I could clearly see the difference between me from back then and the me of now. Certainly, as compared to a 10 year old, I was far more matured, more outspoken, more intelligent, and far more independent. Then, I thought to myself, if 10 years can change a kid into an adult, how will the next ten year in my life change who I am currently?
One question followed after another: Where would I be? What kind of job would I have? Who would I be with? Where would my parents be? How much would I earn? What kind of person would I be?
Maybe I would live in a nice house. I would be earning enough money to live comfortably. I would spend my days working as something that I like, and spend my well deserved holiday travelling all over the world. I would have the woman of my dreams as my wife, and we would have kids in a great environment and a nice neighborhood. I would have all the...
and then, reality starts to sink in.
What if I don't live in a nice house? What if I don't earn enough money to live comfortably? What if I spend my days doing something I don't like, and spend my holiday looking for extra jobs because I don't earn enough? What if I never meet anyone in my life and I would die as a lonely old man?
True, 10 years is very far to the future, but after spending the spare time I had while sitting in the bus, I have soon realised that "time" is not something to be taken lightly of. We often hear people saying it, and we ourselves often say it to others, yet we never take it seriously.
If there was one saying that all of you guys must make sure that it sinks in your mind is that "Time waits for no one."
One year from now, you will never know what is going to happen to you. One year from now, there may be some unexpected events that will change your life forever. One year from now, you may or may not be the kind of person you are now. One year from now, the only certainty in the uncertain is that things will not be the same.
The kind of person you will be 10 years from now will be determined by the kind of person you choose to be for the next 10 years to come. In other words, whether you will be poor, you will be rich, you will be happy, you will be sad, you will live in a mansion, you will live under the bridge; no one but you have to choose your own path in life.
How many times have you found yourself thinking, "Only if I have done this last time.", "Only if I have asked her out that time.", "Only if I have studied more properly." or "Only if I had more determination in doing things." If you have said too much Only Ifs in your life, now would be a good time to start changing what you are doing, before you find yourself 10 years older but 10 steps behind. Would you rather spend your adulthood telling people your great achievements, or would you rather spend your days crying in despair because your life has been nothing but full of only-ifs and self-inflicted failures?
Grab the chance when it comes, never give up till its gone. Life is always a two-way split road and destiny changes with each path that you choose. Yes or No. I will do it or I won't do it. I can or I can't. It's all in your hands. If you keep avoiding what you know it's right, and keep choosing the wrong path knowing that you are doing something wrong, I would not even bother to imagine what you would be like 10 years from now.
Here. Now. At this moment, nothing is too late yet. Your future has not happened yet. Nothing has been determined yet. You are still who you are. You are ver much uncertain of your future, and this is exactly why you must be happy, because you still have the power to change what's to come. That is why, I have decided that I would now shape my own future and do my best to overcome anything that acts to bring me down.
Will I succeed?
I guess, I'll just have to wait 10 more years and read this post once again.
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